| When things are good, they are really good. But when things get bad, they are really fucked up!
I have so much on my mind, plus im fucked up on pain meds right now so im gonna write my story.. On 3/30 a baby was born in a city where football is life, Massilon Ohio.The baby came out with an ear to ear grin, he didnt cry.. he was born into a family with 1 older sister and 1 older brother.. he had a golden skin color so his mom gave him the nick name "golden child".. on his 2nd birth day his little sister was born.. This took him from the spoiled youngest to the overlooked middle child.. He lived/lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with 4 other people. He was always a little bad ass, he hung out with all older kids, he always had to prove himself.. He was brought up with a different set of morals: he went to church every sunday from age 2-11, he ran the streets every day from age 6-17.. he got the best of both worlds, he was a respectable young man when he would go to church, but in the streets he was quick to make a name for himself, the crazy little kid that is down for anything.. hangin with the older kids had its perks but at the same time it got him in a lot of trouble.. if it wasnt his mouth it was his actions, he didnt care and he didnt have anything to care for.. For this reason he caught his first charge at age 12, just a misdiminor criminal mischief.. He went to court and got 180 hours of community service.. But he learned his lesson and moved on.. In 6th grade he got introduced to a sport called wrestling, he wasnt very good but he loved it.. He wrestled in 7th grade on the middle school team and still wasnt very good, but he took 3rd place at ecol and thats when he realized he can be good.. He worked his ass off and came back the next year and was a beast, he lost a total of 5 matches all year including jr high state.. After that he stopped wrestling in the off season to concentrate on his 2nd love, football... Ever since pee wee football he played every minute of every game untill his freshman year.. This was when his actions off the field got him in trouble, he was only comin to school 3 days a week.. So the coaches decided to sit him out for a game. He tried to make it school but that was always a problem for him, considering he already knew everything the teachers could teach.. He grades began to slip, he got A's on every piece of work he did but he didnt do much work so it added up.. Wrestling season started up and he was destin to be JV he would have had a spot but he gained 20 pounds between football and wrestling.. Now weighin 160 he was stuck behind a senior at that weight and another senior at 171.. He went against all odds and beat out the senior in a wrestle off for 171, he wrestled 12 matches that year and has a 75% record before his grades caught up with him and he couldnt wrestle.. The biggest thing that bothered him about wrestling was the Dynasty Team known as claymont, he felt he was destin to help put an end to that dynasty.. He only lost 3 matches as a freshman but that set him off, he worked his ass off.. He didnt wanna be better, he wanted to be the best.. He entered a total of 22 open tournaments that year and took the champion title in 16 of those.. He was introduced into a style known as greco and he was a natural, he took 4th at greco state his first time wrestling it.. He qualified to go to nationals and went.. He came back the next year as a sophomore he had talent but he got beat alot because he wrestled tough competition and he was way under weight, he got a pin against the claymont and that was when he helped to put a death to a dynasty.. he qualified for Div I districts and was 2 matches away from state, but it wasnt in the cards..
i walked on the mat in 2001 about the same time sports stopped bein fun.. 3 years later the tranformation is done, coach nutter presents justin hughes the freshman the smokin gun.. everyone was talkin they wanna know the outcome, i was ready to die, i have doubts could i be #1.. i felt like oj after the nichole trial was done.. everyone in that gym and all eyes were me.. i put the death to a dynasty so i told the rest of my team that 2nd period pin was a dream.. i had visions of bein a classic and then my world turned black like i was wearin ray charles glasses, its kinda hard to imagine like kanye west, comin back from a fatal accident to beat making to rappin.. but im the future neal nutter told me its gonna take more than a bad knee to hold me back
At the end of his sophomore year he torn up my knee but he toughed it out untill he could barely walk anymore.. There was no other option he had to have surgery.. So he did and it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life... He only knew 2 things, to play sports and to run the streets.. So thats what he did, he took the street by storm.. He got into a lot of fights and none were even close, he would fight anybody for any reason.. Half the time he wasnt even mad, he just did it to prove a point.. This ended him in court for almost killin some kid that couldnt keep his mouth shut.. As he ran away from the parking lot where his opponents body was left shivering and shaking on the pavment, he promised himself he would never fight again unless he had to.. He skipped football and came back to wrestling as a junior and he was pretty good, his final record was 37-6 and he was 3 points away from state.. But out of all the matches there was one that broke his heart.. The stage was set, claymont vs new phila.. 171 lb match.. it was the 4th time the 2 had met, he won the first 3 all by pin.. he wasnt ready for the match mentally, (not to make excuses) but he had he worst match in years that night.. He ended up losing to a very talented kid by 1 point.. This killed him inside.. He didnt get a rematch that year because the kid he wrestled hurt his knee..
( you dont know what its like to practice what seems like for ever to be the best at somethin just to realize youre not, you dont know what its like to litterly leave your blood sweat and tears on a mat in front of your family and friends just to let them all down because on that night you werent good enough, and if you seen my cry that night, thats what was going through my mind...)
(Let me explain why losing is such a big deal to me.. When i wrestle or compete its all about pride, i work and practice and its all to be best.. and when someone beats me i dont feel like the deserve it.. What have they ever done to be better than me, i work too hard day in and day out for anyone to beat me.. so FUCK that)
So now he is lifting alot trying to get bigger and stronger, trying to be the greatest wrestler his school has ever seen.. Trying to be the name that is brought up when the best are talked about.. He wrestled in national events, and worked and just kept working.. He matured alot, the wild child settled down, but he is still known for getting nuts.. He got to thinking and decided to come back for his senior year to play football.. Everything was going good, he was a hard worker with a little bit of talent.. Untill he hurt his knee...
Today at football i hurt my knee, not just hurt it, i fucked it up.. My knee gave out and got stuck in place i couldnt even straighten my leg.. I went to the emergency room and they gave me a shot of demeral morphine for pain, a shot of nuroflex for a muscle relaxer, plus another pain pill with an anti inflamatory in it.. But my knee still wasnt any better.. Im laying on a table in the hospital drugged up out of my mind and i can still feel it.. They couldnt do anything else for me so they just sent me home.. but i also have another type of pain.. my heart is broke, i have to get another knee surgery.. my last one was the hardest time of my life, i would have honestly killed myself if i could have walked to the case to get the gun, the pain is so unreal, and with the pill they put me on i see things and hear voices... its fucked up... Now i probably cant play football, and maybe not wrestle either.. Im still going to try to do both but right now i cant even walk, so it doesnt look good.. And today i realize how big of an ass i have been to my mom.. I dont hang around my house much because i feel like if im always there than i will accept being poor, and i might be like that when i grow up.. so i cant do it, this has been real hard on my mom.. And i dont know who all knows this but she has some problems and im lucky she is still alive.. it might not seem like it but im really close with her, today when i was layin in the hospital bed she couldnt take seeing me in pain.. She started cry.. to me thats special.. i have alot of changin to do, so many things i need to work on... Shit has just been real tough lately,
so leave me some love with the comments, and please give me a call, i might need someone to talk to.. 330-243-1969 |
